People in Moderation Management share experiences of naltrexone use

Suze D. - MM @ maelstrom.stjohns.edu - 6/2/2001

I just had to respond to this post....... you wrote:

" Let me describe how I feel when I am having a craving. It is almost a
physical/visceral sensation for me - a feeling in the pit of my stomach of
uneasiness/anxiety. That is exactly how I felt........"

And I do love the phrase "Endorphin Challenged" because that is
exactly what I am.

My drinking patterns were slightly different from yours, but the
emotions were the same...I have been on and off this list since 1998 and have
never been able to maintain my moderation at the level that I wanted.
I was capable of long periods of moderation...but it was never
permanent.

I was not a nightly drinker, I WAS and episodic binge drinker...now
when I say binge I don't mean that I would lock myself away for days at a
time drinking.....It would just be one night of drinking very heavily ( to
oblivion/blackout) or it would occur a few times during a week. Thank god I
never suffered any serious withdrawals...slight hangover at worst...and what
I mean by "slight" is no shakes or vomiting...just a lousy headache, and a
bit of an upset stomach, which usually passed within a few hours. I was
always able to function the next day go to work etc.

The list has helped me identify my triggers........but even with all
good intentions there would be a night when I set out to have a glass of two
or wine and loose total control....that frightened me.......I could never
gauge when it would happen....and suddenly months of moderation would be
gone, that was unacceptable and as I said frightening to me. I never knew
when I would loose control.

So, I started seeing a psychologist because I knew that for many years
my anxiety was not at a normal level....Prior to that , I thought "well
everyone has anxiety." Don't be a wimp about it...tough it out..........but I
knew I needed some additional help in this area.......because my anxiety was
increasing.......as well as my drinking.
She wanted me to go to an MD for a prescription for an anti anxiety
med......I did not want to do that.....I thought that the therapy sessions
would help.....they did .....with triggers ........................but not
the coping with anxiety.

Well I went thru a rough period and sent out and SOS to the
list.............Ana, Cannon and Dr. Alex responded
immediately.........................My husband wanted to put me in a rehab...
IMMEDIATELY.....his feeling was forget it. Its over, you cannot do
this alone........You need treatment.....your need to be locked away
somewhere.

Well, no way was I going into a rehab......#1. I did not need to detox
and #2. I do not ascribe to "being powerless" and to "being in denial" Mr.
Bill and his Big Book do nothing for me.....

So I set up an appointment with our wonderful Dr. Alex....he explained
very clearly about my endorphin levels...It appears that on occasions when I
would take that first glass of wine, the surge in my endorphins was so swift
and high that the effects of the wine would kick in and I would loose all
control as I wanted to maintain that state.....and of course ending up in a
disaster.

He agreed that I did indeed need medication for my anxiety and
prescribed 2 mgs of clonazepam daily as well as 50MG of naltrexone.....

We started the naltrexone at 1/2 pill a day for about three days
getting up to one full dosage a day, within a few days.

Well, let me tell you.....I was sick...I had terrible chills, nausea
to the point of dry heaves and just an overall feeling of general
malaise.....and absolutely no appetite......I thought to myself....this
really sucks.....who could even think of taking a drink....he's trying to
kill me (g)........The food part really bugged me as I love to eat.....

I would say within about 7 to ten days I felt back to my old self
again.....I began a 30...and was quite amazed that it was so easy. Now I
have done 30's before, but I was always a little uncomfortable when we went
out and everyone was drinking but me ...and I also felt downright resentful
and angry. Nothing like that occurred ....it was really a breeze and my
appetite was back in full swing.

As it turned out, on the last day of my thirty, I had to go on a
business/pleasure trip out west. There is a lot of entertaining during these
trips.....dining and drinking.....as I had met these people before and knew
them to be heavy drinkers....................So we decided this would be the
perfect time to test the "moderation waters"........Dr. Alex devised a plan
that I was to follow, and he is so dedicated and caring that he wanted me to
check in with him...he even gave me his cell phone number.....Does anybody
have a doctor like that ( I think not)

It all went like a charm, I stayed within my limits.....when
additional bottles of wine were being opened I had no problem turning the
wine down. I just didn't crave it, but I did enjoy the glasses that I had.

I am drinking moderately now. I have not lost control once since
taking the meds ( about2 months now) Wine is where I want it to be in my
life...A pleasurable addition to a meal...or just a pleasurable experience
when I feel like having a glass either in a social situation or just sitting
in a comfy chair reading a good book.

I have not lost my enjoyment of wine...I have lost the horrible
craving am very content with 2 glasses of wine and sometimes 3 ( that is rare
though)

I recently went thru a period ( and am still going thru it) of
tremendous turmoil............every emotion was evoked.......Anger,
Frustration, Fear. Worry...........I had angry and emotional encounters
......alcohol free....in the past I would have had "just one glass of wine"
to calm myself to get thru it.........but you all know how that would turn
out...........What amazes me is that I didn't want the wine for a calming
effect.

So I fully endorse the use of naltrexone.......I am willing to take it
for the rest of my life........I drink now when I want and I have lost the
fear of loosing control...it just ain't happen folks......... and Dr. Alex
has been a godsend to me......so yeah I am prejudiced and it has nothing to
do with last names.